Kick my bucket please.

Keep walking on even though you can't see the where you are heading to.

Fall and die maybe.

8 more days.
Can't wait to step on Malaysia's soil even though I will be landing in Singapore first.
Gosh, I have been in kinda of hard time these few days.
Torturing enough to make you bones snap and skin peel off. Creeps!
With all the worrying, paranoid and also Calculus.
These is just not enough time, and sometimes it seems to be too much time.
Too bad time never say goodbye when they leave, which is kind of an ass.





Seeing people going back home one by one.
Of course I do feel depressed over that.
Some people don't really wish to leave Australia,
for me, I can't wait to leave this land that totally brings no good to me.
I have already built up all the negative thoughts toward Australia.
So next time, if someone ask me whether Australia is nice.
I WOULD SAY : "DEPRESSING".



End of this year meaning 2 and a half more year to go.
Is quite unfair that I am lagging behind time than other people.
Great disadvantages from many aspect.
I can only worry sick for 4 months, go back home and rest.
Seriously, if I could survive these uni years, means that I might only live to my 30s.



Wish me all the best in Calculus then.

Bring me home country road

Can't wait to see them in 10 more days time.



I miss home, even though I need to wait for another ten days more.
Just worrying, and worrying all day long.
Can't do maths at all.


I feel that I am suffocating from Earth's air.
No one will know how it feels.
The sky is raining on this depressing day. Is just not a good day.
Can't find anyone. Can't do anything. Feels so constrained.

Haven't have this left-out feeling for a long time.
This feeling is just bad.

Grrrrrrr, Arrrrggghhhh. Muahahaha.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DADDY AND MUMMY !

-18th November every year-

Called home yesterday night and found out that Daddy's flight from Manila is delayed.
Hope you guys still can make up for the celebration, also make it a nice one.
Besides that, I think I just showed my mum my nuisance side by complaining to her about how depressing choosing subjects could be and how inefficient the Melb Uni workers are.
Blah.
I heard dog barking from the other side of the phone.
Our Malay neighbour's doggy, it seems to be the same breed as Bam Bam and as naughty as Bam Bam.
I miss home even though is just freaking 12 days to depart from Australia.
Argh, bloody exams please end asap!
Can't wait to go home.

Having my first exams tomorrow.
So not looking forward for that, and of course Calculus.
I have no idea what am I talking about.
Gonna turn crazy. AHHHHHHHH~

Whatever.
Shit.
Crap.
Stupid.
Idiot.
Jerk.
Bastard.
Asshole.
Bullshit.
Nonsense.
Rubbish.
Trash.
Loser.
Bitch.
Bloody hell.
Shit face.
Brainless.
Retarded.
Dumb.
F*cker.
Duck brain.
Ugly.
Annoying.
Disgusting.
Irritating.
Despicable.
Appalling
Melbourne.

Anguishhhhh

I seriously HATE you The University Of Melbourne.
You seriously caused so much havoc to my life, in the meantime left unforgettable unpleasant memories for me.
I am now so scared to face everything in my life.
I am afraid of all the uncertainties, I am living my live like a coward.
IS ALL YOU FAULT.
I did so many things that I never did before and felt those I never felt before.

I HATE MELBOURNE, I HATE AUSTRALIA, I HATE WHY THE WORLD NEED TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS.

Sometimes, I don't think I can continue my life like this.
Is just too hard to endure and survive.
I am like half a year behind and there are so many limitations.

While freaking chosing subjects for next, I am like so paranoid and suddenly I feel panic for no reason.
It's like I am buried under heaps of emotions until I couldn't breathe.
Seriously, I feel that I am nagging like a women.
But I AM JUST TRYING TO COOLDOWN BY RELEASING ALL MY ANGER HERE.
Unless I could kill or destroy stuff, or even burn down Melbourne University.

Crap. Could someone freaking come and just talk to me?

Finally the bloody exams are coming after a few days.
So not looking forward for it.
Need to hardcore study and sleep at 3-4am everyday.

Conclusion: Study makes people unhealthy.

LOOK AT THIS MINISTRY OF EDUCATION!

Gimme ROOTBEER.

Felt bored from studying. (p/s: Take note of the chipsss)

Please don't say this is another EMO post of mine.
I tried to be as optimistic as possible, but this is where I rant.
So bear with it and do feel free to be amused by the pictures which causes Ryan's dota matches to disconnect and other players to blame me for that disconnection and lag.

Back to the topic. I really don't feel good lately.
I admit that I am experiencing what I am experienced last semester, which is bad.
I am worrying again.
There's exams, accommodation, results, and also Linear Algebra is the most ridiculous thing for me to worry now.
Life is still studying all day long, sometimes just sit there and stare at the bloody paper.
POOF~ My mind goes blank.



And sorry Sis for sort of scolded you yesterday night.
I feel bad after that and got insomnia again.
Was a little bit harsh with my words cause yesterday was definitely not my day.
But at least now you know me better.
Looking forward to go home much that I had started packing.
Miss you and love you all.





Damn.
Another day has passed.
I really could feel the time is ticking and passing me as fast.
After the exams are over, finally is my time to let loose of myself and rest.
Really longing for that sense of security and protection.
Can't find it in Melbourne anywhere.

Screw it and stay strong. =D

Eff Off

I don't care who you are.

But I decide for my own life.

I am pissed now.